The Mask: How High Achievers Hide ADHD (and Why It’s So Exhausting)

Success can be a powerful disguise.

You hit your targets. You show up polished and prepared. You speak with confidence. From the outside, everything looks controlled and consistent.

What people don’t see is the chaos behind it.

They don’t see the late nights spent overthinking a simple decision that others would make in minutes. They don’t see the morning panic when you realise you’ve forgotten something small that suddenly feels enormous. They don’t see the constant mental gymnastics required just to hold everything together.

This is masking.

It’s the quiet performance that so many people with ADHD live every single day.

Masking is the art of overpreparing, overcompensating, and overdelivering in order to prove that you are not what you secretly fear others might think you are. Disorganised. Scattered. Unreliable.

But there’s a twist.

Masking works.
At least for a while.

You get promoted. People praise your energy, your creativity, your output. On the surface, the system rewards you. But underneath, something else is happening. You begin to live in two worlds: the version of you everyone sees, and the version you work so hard to hide.

The space between those two identities slowly becomes heavier to carry.

How Masking Shows Up in Leadership

In leadership, masking is everywhere.

It’s the executive who stays late every night triple-checking work because one small mistake feels catastrophic.
It’s the manager who won’t delegate because letting go feels like losing control.
It’s the confident speaker who delivers brilliantly in the room, then crashes into exhaustion the moment the door closes behind them.

From the outside, these behaviours often look like “high standards” or “strong work ethic.” From the inside, they are usually driven by fear.

Fear of being exposed.
Fear of slipping.
Fear of being seen as “not enough.”

When the Mask Becomes Identity

When you wear the mask long enough, it stops feeling like strategy and starts feeling like identity.

You call it professionalism.
You call it discipline.
You call it standards.

But underneath, you know the truth.

It’s survival.

My lived experience has taught me something very clearly: you cannot build a sustainable life by pretending to be someone you are not.

You do not need to hide your wiring in order to be respected. You need an environment that is designed to support how your brain actually works.

Dropping the Mask Isn’t Giving Up

Letting go of the mask is not about lowering standards. It’s about changing the approach.

It’s being honest when your mind is racing and you need space before making a decision.
It’s explaining that structure helps you thrive, rather than framing it as a weakness.
It’s letting people see the real you, because the real you is capable, loyal, creative, and full of energy when you feel trusted.

In leadership, authenticity builds more respect than perfection ever will.

People do not connect with flawless.
They connect with real.

The Cost of Staying Hidden

Masking comes at a price.

It drains energy.
It heightens anxiety.
It disconnects you from your own needs.
It quietly erodes wellbeing over time.

Many high achievers with ADHD do not burn out because they lack resilience. They burn out because they are spending their lives maintaining an illusion that was never required in the first place.

A Different Way Forward

If you have been holding everything together behind a mask, here is something worth sitting with:

You do not need to earn acceptance by overworking for it.
You are not required to exhaust yourself in order to be valued.
You do not have to perform safety for it to exist.

You simply need permission to be seen.

And when that happens, something remarkable shifts.

The energy that once went into hiding begins to fuel what you are actually here to do.

A Question Worth Asking

If you have been carrying a professional mask for years, perhaps the most important question is not about performance.

It’s this:

What part of your mask are you ready to put down?

This article is adapted from an original LinkedIn article by Ross Chambers.

Photo by Tara Winstead: https://www.pexels.com/photo/adhd-text-8378747/